HATED
by MissSquibler
Summary: Rhey both HATED this holiday, they hated it more then anyone could know. however, they soon find comfort in each other on this horrid holiday in the park.
1. Chapter 1

**This is once again another one-shot. well sort of. I guess it's a three shot? Idk... there's three chaptyers though. 1st one in Gilbert's side, then is Matthew's and then is both of them. Kinda angsty/comfort/hurt? I think it's pretty good. 8D HOPE YOU LIKE IT TWO~ **

**A little cute X-mas fluffiness~ **

**DISCLAIMER I DON'T OWN AXIS POWERS HETALIA. If I did, well I wont go there. Lulz  
**

It was that time of the year. The most_ wonderful_ time of the year.

Tch, as if. That's what they all said.

But to Gilbert Weillschmedt this was anything but true. He HATED this time of the year, he despised it with every fiber of his being.

Course this hadn't always been this way, no at one time the silverette had enjoyed these wonderful times of the year. Spending it and getting drunk off his mind. He remembered the time when he looked forward to such occasions. Spending it with either is brother Ludwig, or with his friends, Francis Bonnefoy and Antonio Carriedo. Those times had forever since long gone.

It was different now.

Gilbert Weillschmedt was alone.

And he BATED it.

Ever since he, the EX-great Prussian Empire had fallen, he had been forgotten. He didn't exist to anyone anymore. Ludwig would try to invite Gilbert over, but that was out of pity. Gilbert didn't want pity. He wanted the god forsaken feeling to go away. He wanted to be the powerful empire Old Man Fritz had helped him become. He wanted to be remembered for what he once was, not remembered for being the pitiful nothingness he was now.

He always ended up drunk of his mind, but it wasn't what he wanted, he would go into a lapse of despair. Not enjoying it at all anymore. How he wished sometimes he could die. However, he was East Germany now. He did have SOME job, but just like the loneliness. He HATED it. He wanted it to go away forever, never return again.

He almost missed the time he spent with Ivan Braginski, at least he wasn't alone… Sure it hurt, horribly and he HATED it, though looking back now, at least he wasn't alone. He had the company of Ivan's 'friends' Ravis, Edward, and Toris, the showed him kindness. Even when Ivan didn't want them to, specially during the holidays when he wanted Gilbert to suffer the most, the three of them had shown him kindness. Kindness that has now been long forgotten.

How could anyone deal with this?!

It was impossible?!

Horrible!

How could anyone deal with this? It was so… so lonely.. No one should ever have to go through it. Though, Gilbert hadn't known many who needed to go through this… Heck, he really didn't know anyone! I mean, most probably gave up the first few months… Gilbert kept holding on, not by much, but he could hope, he wanted to hope that there would be a way, someone or something could save him from all this. He wasn't sure if it was possible, but a small silver lining was all he could hold onto at the moment.

Gilbert let out a long sigh, his breath was visible in the late night freezing cold air. He wasn't sure why the heck he decided to walk outside, specialy on Christmas eve, and especially on such a freezing cold night.

Maybe this is what they called insanity?

Who knows? Gilbert didn't and he'd really not think to much about ti.

Not now at least.

He continued walking silently, not many people where out at the moment. Only a few couples, and the occasional drunk. No one else. Gilbert sighed, for once at this time of the year he didn't feel like being drunk, big shock there if you where this Prussian.

He wasn't really sure where he was heading at the moment, maybe to a place far, far away? Somewhere lose? He had lost track of how far he had come from his and Ludwig's home. Quiet frankly he didn't honestly care. As long as he was away it didn't matter as much to him.

Away from it all.

Away from everything he HATED.

Maybe hw wouldn't return.

Gilbert let out a dark laugh at that thought. His laughter disappeared just as quickly as it had come. He stopped in his tracks, a calm look spread across his face. He was at the park. It didn't have a real memorable meaning to him, or anyone he knew at least. Ludwig and his boyfriend Feliciano Varges would often walk through here on their little walks, but that didn't mean anything, not to him at least. It was just.. So nice at the moment.

Everything was lit up, multicolored and plain white lights lit up many of the tress, the lights where complimented by the fresh snow from earlier that evening. It was honestly a white Christmas. To bad it meant nothing to Gilbert, it only made him hate it more. His empty crimson colored eyes narrowed in disgust. Why had he come here?!

It made him so sick.

He didn't want to be here.

He HATED it.

Finally he just trudged on, walking deeper into the park. He didn't know why he continued walking, but for now he would let his feet lead him to wherever. He found himself in the center of the park. Ir wasn't much, a large simple fountain in the middle, a bunch of concrete made benches all around it. The fountain was running surprisingly, it was lit up with white lights. Gilbert felt himself un-tense. His hatred, it was succeeding for now…

His HATED this holiday.


	2. Chapter 2

Great…

It was Matthew's most HATED time of the year..

Christmas Eve, well he HATED Christmas and Christmas Eve in general.

The holidays' for Matthew Williams was the most coldest and loneliest times of the year. He usually spent them alone… His family members either usually forgot about him, or said they had other plans… It was usually the first, but it always happened. He HATED it. Really, he didn't see why everyone ignored him?

It just annoyed him so much some days… He's either ignored or mixed up with his brother…

He HATED it.

He got beat up for his brother's doings.

It drove him sometimes to the brink of insanity.

He never had his 'Perfect Christmas' before, and the young blond never had let it cross his mind that such a thing existed…. There was always something about this time of the year, it was so imperfect, so, cold and lonely. Maybe he was making to big of a deal about it? Maybe he wasn't making enough of a deal about the whole thing? Who knew? Matthew HATED not knowing.

Those times….

The ones that seemed so far gone,

They were the only thing, the only things that could keep Matthew remember the 'good days'.

The days when Alfred would spend more than five minutes playing with Matthew, without growing tired of him The times when Arthur wouldn't mistake Matthew for Alfred, or when Arthur didn't leave Matthew behind, because he had forgotten him. Then those few times Francis and him had picked up Matthew when he had fallen.

That was all gone now.

Disappeared. Vanished. Gone.

It hurt… and he HATED it.

Alfred always and still, put himself before Matthew, sometimes he would forget Matthew ever existed now. When was the last time he talked to his elder sibling? Several months ago? He had yet to receive a single Christmas card as well.. Arthur always thought Matthew was Alfred, when he was mistaking her for Alfred, he was talking about Alfred. It was always, always Alfred. Matthew HATED that. And Francis? He hadn't heard from him, since had no clue when. He had given Matthew away to Arthur so long ago, Matthew hardly remembered what the elder man had looked like.

Matthew couldn't remember how he had become so.. So invincible in other's eyes… He personally thought he was nice, caring and everything. Canada was most certainty a wonderful place to live, a little chilly every now and then, but it was beautiful and the country was fairly neutral as well. He didn't really have anyone on his bad side.

Then why?

Why was he ignored so much?

He HATED the fact that there was no explanation for all the 'whys' that grew inside.

So why was it that he found himself outside on such a horrid holiday? Why wasn't he home inside with the bear who name he couldn't remember and vice versa for the bear? He didn't know.. Though the coldness and the dark engulf him seemed to really fit the mood at that very moment. Matthew took a long breath of the chilling air, letting out a small cough at the coldness hitting him.

He had never wanted something to end so quickly as he did now, but then again, this is when it all came down, hard. He stared up into the sky, it was glittering with bright stars, Matthew just looked down at the slushy snow beneath his feet and trudged onwards.

That's all he ever seemed to do now, Trudge onwards.

He always HATED it so much.

HATED the fact he didn't have anything to look forward to….

Matthew let out a shiver, hugging himself tightly, holding back the tears that wanted to form… Glancing up, he had come to the park, the one him and his 'family' spent to much time at… the one he promised to never go back here. He didn't want the memories to come back, because.. He HATED those memories.

The Park lit up like every year… Empty like it seemed to be every day now, the same emptiness Matthew HATED. A freeze went past Matthew snow from the trees above, danced around Matthew, seeming to give him a push towards… Towards what? He didn't know. He noticed the water fountain, how beautiful it was this year… even when it wasn't this time of the year, Matthew was captivated by the beauty.. Yet it never did more then let his heart warm for a few moments..

He HATED this holiday more then the hollowness in his heart.


	3. Chapter 3

Why must everything be so hard?

They both HATED the harsh world they lived in called reality.

Was it really reality or some sick joke?

Whatever the reason was, they both hard shared their same feelings about this divesting holiday, the same loneliness, the same want to be found and be held tightly, to be told they where loved, to be told they actually existed. Maybe, that is why tonight, they're worlds would decide to collide, they would be found.

This is how the both found themselves alone in the park, besides the presence of the other, staring at each other from across the water fountain. Confusion written all over each other's faces. Why was he here? That was the only thought in each of the young men's minds. Neither would admit to themselves, maybe, by some twisted fate this was how it was supposed to be. Slowly, the both walked around the fountain, until the stood only about a foot away from each other.

"Hey.." The silverette greeted lowly, his eyes seemed to stare right through the younger blond, as if he would somehow, find the reason why the other was there.

"Hi." The other responded quietly, The blonde was a bit taken a back, surprised a bit that the other had noticed him.

An awkward silence filled the space around them, neither quite sure what to say. Even though a thousand question rang throughout their heads, a word could not be spoken. Who would crack first…?

The pain was building up.

All those years of holding it back.

They HATED this overwhelming feeling.

Matthew was the first to crack, he asked the question that both wanted to ask.

"W-why are you here… shouldn't you be home.. With your brother or something..?" Somehow it was like Matthew knew the answer, somewhere deep inside his body. Why did he ask then? When he knew the painful truth behind the answer… Maybe… Maybe it was so the feeling of being alone, would somehow, somehow disappear.

The ex-nations eyes seemed to glaze over, like the world he was once in seemed a million miles away. His thoughts becoming a fog of confusion once more.

"I…" Gilbert tried to speak, but nothing came out.

Matthew nodded, he knew, he really did understand.

"W-what about you..?" Gilbert asked, glancing once more at the blonde.

This time it was Matthew's turn to look away, his eyes adverted to looking at the snow beneath his feet. The pain stung frail heart. It was just to much now.. Matthew really was the first one to crack. The tears stung the corner of his eyes,

Vanish

Disappear.

Make everything they HATED go away!

Gilbert caught site of the trinkle of water flow down Matthew's cheek. His crimson eyes softened.

Before Matthew could properly say anything, or hide his feelings, a pair of warm arms wrapped around his small figure. Engulfing him in a warm embrace, a sign that someone was there… The sign saying he wasn't alone anymore. He wrapped his arms around the ex-nation, returning the tight hug.

The feeling that they HATED slowly began to drift away, even if it was for that moment, suddenly, who cared? Who cared that maybe they wouldn't see each other again? Somehow.. Somehow this gave both the men a full feeling.

Finally they let the pain spew out of them, they cried for what seemed like the first time in a million years… Along with the pain, came everything they HATED. Instead of loneliness, came warmth. Sorrow to happiness.

The white snow continued to fall around the two men, they didn't care if they got snow on them anymore, they didn't care that the park was empty, that the stars where out. Nothing mattered to them at this moment, time was stopped for them. They wanted this moment to never end.

Everything they HATED disappeared.

With a single embrace.

Maybe.. Maybe now this holiday could be a little less painful.

Now that they found each other.


End file.
